Eating Pussy vs Eating Ass

With mainstream rappers such as Lil' Wayne finally admitting - and flaunting - the fact that they eat pussy, giving a girl head has finally reached "nothing to be ashamed of" status in the urban community.  Things weren't always like this.  Wayne's former labelmate Mannie Fresh once rapped "Tiger would, but I wont, eat no pussy, 'cause I don't." It wasn't that long ago that Fat Joe instructed potential female interests to "slow down baby, let you know from the gate, I don't go down baby." Now that pussy-eating has become increasingly commonplace, I have decided to use my foresight to address what I believe to be the next controversial sexual issue within the urban community: eating ass.  


"My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack" - Khia


While Khia fell off the face of the earth, the message of her song still remains.  So, lets explore the advantages and disadvantages of tossing the salad.  Also, let's pit the pussy against the asshole and explore the differences and how they apply to you in your sexual encounters.


The number one reason why dudes DON'T want to eat ass, is because our first inclination is to think its nasty.  And in theory, this makes a lot of sense.  Shit comes out of assholes (unless you're one of those dudes who still thinks girls don't take shits - I know I was.  When I found out they did, it was almost as dissapointing as being told the truth about Santa).  My assessment, however, is that the "asshole is nasty" theory is true or false depending on the specific female in question.  When dudes say they don't eat pussy "that's nasty, you can't trust girls, not all girls are clean, etc.", I always say that while a dude shouldn't go around giving head to every partner he's with, he also should not be sleeping with women who he WOULDN'T give head to.  This forces us dudes to raise the standards of girls we sleep with.  I think the same theory applies to eating ass.  If we are with a girl who we trust keeps her pussy fresh, what should make us think she doesn't keep her ass fresh? Remember, pussys have to get wiped, just like asses do.  I doubt a girl would do a good job on one area and neglect to do a good job on an area a few inches away.  With that being said...if you do somehow suffer the misfortune of smooching a nasty girl down below, quite frankly, you're fucked.  Unless you think piss is nastier than shit.  Although, yeast infections do complicate do the matter.  But if a girl is fucking around with an untreated yeast infection, I don't want to know what's goin on in her ass.  I actually don't want to know of her existence.  So yeah, stay away from them nasty girls.  Now...


The ideal girl's ass to eat: A beautiful, slim, model type, with a nice ass thats not TOO big.  Preferably one of those girls that watches her weight even though she's slim and therefore doesn't eat much and probably hasn't taken a shit all week.  If a girl's ass is too huge and badonk-like, it becomes less inviting to the face and tongue.  More inviting to smash, though.  The girl has to be a girl that's so fine that when you look at her you're thinking in your head "damn she bad, I bet her pussy is delicious".  There aren't many girls like that.  But let me explain the reason you have to like the way she tastes.  You don't wanna eat dry ass.  So what you do is, you make shorty real wet, until her pussy begins to leak so much that it starts dripping down out of her pussy towards her ass.  You can accelerate this process with your tongue or your finger.  Basically, you want to use the pussy wetness as a buffer and get the asshole lubricated with pussy juice before you eat it.


So which is better? I think eating the pussy is still better because you got the pussy and the clit to stimulate, and you can more easily make a girl cum by eating it.  Like I said before, the pussy has it's own lubrication.  Furthermore, I think it is a more attractive body part than a girls asshole, especially when a girl has a Brazilian wax.  Eating the ass is like that mistress you can have an intense escapade with once in a while.  It feels more forbidden, and its advantageous if you're really trying to drive the girl wild because you know not many guys have done it to her before.  Although, eating the ass requires less skill than eating the pussy, I presume.  But if you get stuck trying to compare the two, the threesome (licking the pussy and the crack) is always an option; ask Khia.  I mean, you COULD have asked Khia, presuming she did not die of AIDS, catch SARS, and then get deported to Antarctica.

Are You Wasting Your Ears?

Music has the power to inspire, motivate, captivate, and otherwise influence our emotions in nearly every way possible.  The tunes we hear even have an effect on our subconscious mind and our mood.  Hearing the right song at the right time can have just as much of an influence on our feelings as a hug when we're down, or company when we're lonely, or some good head when we're horny (OK, OK...maybe not THAT much of an influence).

That is why playlists are so important.


I believe you should have a playlist set up for every mood you're in.  Every time you get in a certain mood, add the songs you feel like hearing to that playlist.  That way, you are not relying on shuffle to dictate your mood.  Now, of course, there will be times when you;'re in the mood to have your playlist shuffle, and thats perfectly fine.  I'm just saying, hearing the type of songs you want to hear when you want to hear them is very valuable. You still have the unpredictability of not knowing exactly what song will come on if you shuffle, but you'll know it will surely be a  song that you are in the mood to listen to.  No more having to take your iPod out every 4 minutes to change songs.  And if you do want to hear a certain song that fits the mood you're in, that song will probably be in your playlist for that specfic mood and that's less clicks you have to make.  Also, think about if you unexpectedly need to throwon your iPod in a social gathering.  You don't want to have to keep changing the songs manually, you want to enjoy yourself.  And you want to have an appropriate playlist to entertain the audience.


Think about it: would you constantly have conversations with people about things that you weren't interested in the moment? Would you not care if when you signed online, your browser randomly took you to any website you had ever visited? Then why limit yourself to always relying on "shuffle all" without having a playlist? Would you get up and change the channel every time if you had a remote? No.  So why would u go searching alphabetically through your iPod every time you wanted to hear a different song? Most people listen to their iPods at least 2 hours a day.  That's almost 1,000 hours per year.  Do you really want 1,000 hours of what goes into your ears being controlled by what an Apple device decides? And do you want 1,000 of your precious hours to be interrupted by having to search for something every 4 minutes or less? Don't waste your ears.

Think Outside The Box To Live Your Dreams

We should all think like this:
(via http://www.thewisejobsearch.com/2009/03/thinking-outside-box.html)

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night.
You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.


Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?


Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.


You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Craigslist: Great for Jobs...and Prostitution?!?

One day, instead of looking through job postings on craigslist, I decided to go to the homepage.  I heard craigslist had almost anything, so I wanted to check out more of what it offered.  To my amazement, there's straight up internet prostitution going down on the site.

I clicked on "adult gigs", I expected to see requests for video girls, models, and even porn stars.  And while there were some posts of that sort, what struck me was the amount of guys looking to be a sugar daddy.  Sugar daddy is the nice way to put it, though.  These dudes are straight up looking to pay for sex.

Looking for a white, latina female to come over ot my place.

I can host.
Please if you respond have some pictures so i can choose.
Busty ladies are definately welcomed.
This can be a regular meeting if all goes well.

• Location: QUeens
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $$$

Check this, this dude is offering a "one hour donation":

 Want a luxury car to pick u up? I work in the Bronx and am getting off a little later tonight. If you are a ebony or latina

female cutie and want to give a nice guy a GREAT massage and maybe some other things let's talk and if we like each other
I'll scoop you up. The weather is too bad for anything else tonight. One hour of your time and a donation is yours.

Email sexy pics and description. Will get back to you ASAP. Want something happening for tonight and maybe make
it a REGULAR thing.

Thanks in advance.

• Location: Bronx
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: One hour donation - depends on what we do 
  

Here's a common theme, exchanging "fun" for the "paying of some bills":

I am a 35 yr old gentleman looking to have some fun with a normal sane female.

prefer someone young (over 18 and under 30) white, asian or light skinned hispanic/black who just needs help with a few bill$

You can even cop a virgin:

$25,0000 for this vrigin ass (bk, ma)

how much u will to pay for this vrigin ASS, SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY

AM FOR REAL.. LEAVE A MESSAGE PLZZZ PIC AND NUMBER
LOOKING FORWARD.. SEE U SOON

This is all extremely creepy.  Why not just use a normal dating site? If any type of investigative agency tried to set you up, you could get arrested for this kind of shit.  What's also disturbing is the sheer amount of these types of posts.  These posts obviously must get responses if there are so many new ones each day.  I feel like its just ordinary men with everyday, well-paying jobs that either don't know how to get pussy, or who want to cheat on their wives.  These men obviously have some kind of sense to have money to afford this kind of thing.

Sex on the Dance Floor?

Girl, if you let me dance with you to more than one song, you probably want to fuck me.

That is the state of mind of most guys (myself included, of course) as they get a dub from a female on the dance floor.  Dance with a guy to the first song, and there's not much reason for him to get excited (unless he's a cornball).  The girl could simply want to dance, want to not be rude, like the song, etc.  But, if she STAYS on the dick as the music changes...ca-ching! Jackpot.  

Its not that guys automatically think a second dance will lead to sex, or even a phone number.  But, importantly, there's a chance.  It's like the girl is non-verbally communicating "you MIGHT have a chance to get with me".  A lessened chance of rejection combined with raging hormones is enough for an adequately confident dude to go in, you dig? And if a guy is dancing with a girl in the first place, odds are he is attracted to her and would like to sleep with her.  Its a numbers game.  Even if one-in-ten girls who grants a second dance is interested, that means a guy can bag a potential mate at every party- or at least every other party- he goes to.  One new chick a week ain't bad.  It lets you keep your "on to the next one" poppin' off in full effect.

Dancing usually starts off innocently enough.  For girls, anyway.  But c'mon ma, you're going to tell me that if you let me grind my dick on your ass for more than 3 minutes I don't have at least a slight chance with you? Besides, I know that I wouldn't really want to rub my dick on a girl's ass for more than 3 minutes if I wasn't at least somewhat attracted to her.  This only applies to strangers though.  It is common for opposite-sex friends to dance together, and usually doesn't mean much.  Although if one of the friends has a crush on the other, they might get gassed and think they're making progress on getting out of the dreaded "friend-zone".

Ladies, I do understand the problem y'all have with guys having this state of mind.  Firstly, you get a lot of unwanted pickup attempts.  Secondly, if you were to go by the two dance rule, guys, and all onlookers would automatically know exactly who you're interested in.  So I understand why you ladies will never fully embrace or accept the two-dance theory.  I'm just putting y'all on the game.

This lil' guy knows the deal

 

Why Barack Obama Will Cheat on Michelle

Barack Obama will be the next famous black figure to cheat-or GET CAUGHT cheating - on his wife. Why?

Men with great reputations always cheat.

Tiger Woods cheated. Who saw this coming? Tiger Woods has been so good at not getting into trouble, his blackness (or lack thereof) gets constantly teased. Everybody remembers Dave Chappelle's racial draft.

Chris Brown cheated. He was Mister "Ya Man Aint Me". Mister "Aint no way I'm gon' let you down". Mister innocent-sweet talking-R&B-lover boy. Females adored him, and most guys didn't like him because he didn't seem like he ever did anything wrong. No male likes a guy like that, unless he himself is that guy (nothing not to like about getting boatloads of pussy). And Chris Breezy didn't just cheat on any girl. He cheated on Rihanna, who is one of the baddest women on the planet. Weave or not.

Let's not forget Kobe Bryant was considered a good guy too until the news of his infidelity came out. And then he snitched on Shaq for playing his wife, leading to Shaq's divorce.

Michelle Obama is sexy. Especially for 45. But that can't change the fact that Barack is getting offers from 20-something models and the like. If President Carter (aka Lil Wayne) can bag, and nut raw in some of the baddest girls in showbiz (Lauren London, Nivea), just imagine what kind of offers the REAL President of the United States of America is getting. We're all human, and its hard to repeatedly suppress urges. Michelle's not getting any younger and Barack has arguably the most stressful job in the country.

Lets also not forget that 2 of the last 3 Democratic Presidents/Presidential hopefuls have cheated. Bill Clinton, of course, and John Edwards. John Kerry is the exception, but C'MONSON, what women is really gonna sleep with John Kerry? Not to make this a race issue, but black Democrats DO get it in. Governor Patterson admitted to cheating recently, and, of course, there's Bill Clinton. Hahaha.

I just hope Barack doesn't cheat with a white girl. All hell will break lose. But that's a whole 'nother post. Stay tuned.