Eating Pussy vs Eating Ass

With mainstream rappers such as Lil' Wayne finally admitting - and flaunting - the fact that they eat pussy, giving a girl head has finally reached "nothing to be ashamed of" status in the urban community.  Things weren't always like this.  Wayne's former labelmate Mannie Fresh once rapped "Tiger would, but I wont, eat no pussy, 'cause I don't." It wasn't that long ago that Fat Joe instructed potential female interests to "slow down baby, let you know from the gate, I don't go down baby." Now that pussy-eating has become increasingly commonplace, I have decided to use my foresight to address what I believe to be the next controversial sexual issue within the urban community: eating ass.  


"My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack" - Khia


While Khia fell off the face of the earth, the message of her song still remains.  So, lets explore the advantages and disadvantages of tossing the salad.  Also, let's pit the pussy against the asshole and explore the differences and how they apply to you in your sexual encounters.


The number one reason why dudes DON'T want to eat ass, is because our first inclination is to think its nasty.  And in theory, this makes a lot of sense.  Shit comes out of assholes (unless you're one of those dudes who still thinks girls don't take shits - I know I was.  When I found out they did, it was almost as dissapointing as being told the truth about Santa).  My assessment, however, is that the "asshole is nasty" theory is true or false depending on the specific female in question.  When dudes say they don't eat pussy "that's nasty, you can't trust girls, not all girls are clean, etc.", I always say that while a dude shouldn't go around giving head to every partner he's with, he also should not be sleeping with women who he WOULDN'T give head to.  This forces us dudes to raise the standards of girls we sleep with.  I think the same theory applies to eating ass.  If we are with a girl who we trust keeps her pussy fresh, what should make us think she doesn't keep her ass fresh? Remember, pussys have to get wiped, just like asses do.  I doubt a girl would do a good job on one area and neglect to do a good job on an area a few inches away.  With that being said...if you do somehow suffer the misfortune of smooching a nasty girl down below, quite frankly, you're fucked.  Unless you think piss is nastier than shit.  Although, yeast infections do complicate do the matter.  But if a girl is fucking around with an untreated yeast infection, I don't want to know what's goin on in her ass.  I actually don't want to know of her existence.  So yeah, stay away from them nasty girls.  Now...


The ideal girl's ass to eat: A beautiful, slim, model type, with a nice ass thats not TOO big.  Preferably one of those girls that watches her weight even though she's slim and therefore doesn't eat much and probably hasn't taken a shit all week.  If a girl's ass is too huge and badonk-like, it becomes less inviting to the face and tongue.  More inviting to smash, though.  The girl has to be a girl that's so fine that when you look at her you're thinking in your head "damn she bad, I bet her pussy is delicious".  There aren't many girls like that.  But let me explain the reason you have to like the way she tastes.  You don't wanna eat dry ass.  So what you do is, you make shorty real wet, until her pussy begins to leak so much that it starts dripping down out of her pussy towards her ass.  You can accelerate this process with your tongue or your finger.  Basically, you want to use the pussy wetness as a buffer and get the asshole lubricated with pussy juice before you eat it.


So which is better? I think eating the pussy is still better because you got the pussy and the clit to stimulate, and you can more easily make a girl cum by eating it.  Like I said before, the pussy has it's own lubrication.  Furthermore, I think it is a more attractive body part than a girls asshole, especially when a girl has a Brazilian wax.  Eating the ass is like that mistress you can have an intense escapade with once in a while.  It feels more forbidden, and its advantageous if you're really trying to drive the girl wild because you know not many guys have done it to her before.  Although, eating the ass requires less skill than eating the pussy, I presume.  But if you get stuck trying to compare the two, the threesome (licking the pussy and the crack) is always an option; ask Khia.  I mean, you COULD have asked Khia, presuming she did not die of AIDS, catch SARS, and then get deported to Antarctica.